Controversies

I never considered the fact that controversies could be like tornadoes, picking me up, spinning me around, setting me down somewhere new, disarrayed and disillusioned. And yet, this year alone, they have, several times.

There was the assault I was victim to in February, after which the perpetrator walked free (never arrested) because I suffer from a mood disorder that rendered me culpable, without credibility.

Or the fact that I am a lesbian making it very difficult, if not impossible to proceed with my relationship in the manner I’ve dreamed about all my life.

But the most afflicting controversy in my life, the one that has spurred me to create this blog, has been about Lyme disease—whether it is a quickly-treated illness, earmarked for an obscure, forgotten shelf in the library of one’s life, or whether it is the life-destroying, chronic ailment that many insist it is—not obscure, not forgotten, but the library itself, the old, crumbling bookshelves, the dark corners behind the stacks, the oppressive quiet of a bad, bad place to spend one’s days.

The truth of it is that I am quite sick, have almost always been sick, and if everyone could just stick to the facts of Lyme disease, no more, no less, I might be healthier, more successful, happier. This controversy has effectively ruined my life.

I seek the truth. Do you?